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Princess Caroline of Monaco is not pregnant; she's just been eating too much. Recent pictures of the beauty in a bikini, showing her with a slightly bulging tummy, have led to rumors that she might be expecting, through the courtesy...

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Princess Caroline of Monaco is not pregnant; she's just been eating too much. Recent pictures of the beauty in a bikini, showing her with a slightly bulging tummy, have led to rumors that she might be expecting, through the courtesy of Vincent Lindon, her lover of the past three years. Caroline must have seen the pictures too, because she's now on a diet, hoping to lose the 15 pounds she's gained in the past year.

She's also back on cigarettes. She had cut down to half a pack, but now it's more like two. Stress -- it's all stress. Stress is one of the reasons she persuaded her father, Prince Ranier, to go with her to a French spa in Baule to take those sea water treatments some Europeans are so mad about.

Why is Caroline so stressed? Her friends say it's because she wants to marry Vincent Lindon, but that Lindon is dawdling. It's not that he's not in love with Caroline, but because Ranier has set so many conditions before he'll sanction the marriage. Lindon must relinquish any claims to custody of Caroline's children, her own three, and any they might have together. Lindon must give up claims to any inheritance. Lindon, an actor, must not take on any film roles without Ranier's prior approval. Lindon, Jewish, must turn Catholic. Must, must, must. Must not, must not, must not. Lindon studied catechism for a while, but now he's not too sure he wants to become a practicing Catholic when he's not even a practicing Jew.

Then there's the little matter of his renewed friendship with Claude Chirac, the daughter of Jacques Chirac, the mayor of Paris. That was a long, long romance once, and sometimes those things never quite go away.

So now the rumors abound that Caroline and her actor have separated, and that neither is prepared to back down. (Your tummy would probably stick out too.)

As for Princess Stephanie, she's always been a thorn in daddy's side. With two children out of wedlock and a lover, Daniel Ducrat, Ranier won't even speak to, Stephanie's lot is pretty ghastly. After three days of Caroline's urging, Ranier finally succumbed and paid a five-minute visit to Stephanie's new baby, Pauline Grace, in the middle of the night when Ducrat wasn't at the hospital. Pardon me, Shakespeare, but there's something rotten in the state of Monaco.
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