Bette Midler is telling her friends that she would be too nervous to stand up and do comic material in front of billions of people as host of the Oscars. Which means forget it. She might be sensational. That walk of hers alone is...

Also on the block is a massive Empire mahogany daybed, made by ebeniste Bernard Molitor, another Denning and Fourcade trademark. In the late Seventies, when the designers finished the apartment for Jean Vanderbilt, the daybed was set off by lush curtains and overstuffed furniture. Quoted at the time, Denning and Fourcade said, "Outrageous luxury is what our clients want; we have taught them to prefer excess!" They were merely going along with the Zeitgeist.

If you have the same exceptional taste as Jean Vanderbilt, you may be interested in her Chinese lacquer screen ($6,000-$9,000), a Brighton Pavilion Regency secretaire ($8,000-$12,000) and her beautiful French needlepoint carpet, circa 1870, which is expected to fetch between $12,000-$15,000.

Says Jean Vanderbilt, "I am now at a point in my life that demands less in terms of living space and interior furnishings. I have enjoyed living with all these wonderful pieces, but it is time to scale back my collection." May the prices hit the moon.

Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal's house in Bel Air has been condemned because of the earthquake, so they've had to move to their Malibu house, which, thank heaven, was not destroyed by fire. "They certainly pay for their thrills in California," said a friend of mine. You pay for your thrills everywhere. Think it over.

Princess Michael of Kent, the Valkyrie-like wife of Queen Elizabeth's first cousin, Prince Michael of Kent, is ensconsed in Freeport in the Bahamas as the guest of Jack and Frances Hayward at their beachfront estate. Her Royal Highness is alone. Her prince is back home in England performing his princely duties, and the children are at school. But she's not just poking about in the sand and soaking up the sun. She's writing a book, although who knows about what yet. It's not her first book, of course, and the idea is that she'll go on a nationwide book tour with this one as she did with the last. Hype's hype, and if you want to sell it you go out there and plug it, no matter what your title or the color of your blood. This is not Marie-Christine's (the princesses' given name) first time in Freeport. She and Prince Michael and their children spent last Easter there and simply loved "the solitude and simplicity of the place." We all are so very pleased, aren't we, because they all really catch hell at home.
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