But from the theater’s velvet seats it all seemed to make perfect sense — we swear. And after years of being held captive during the previously interminable awards show, the fashion crowd had a fun night coming.
It could have run on sheer star power.
"I didn’t know you would be here," Claire Danes called to Natalie Portman as she swept past. "Now I can pelt you with spitballs from across the aisle."
In the center of the floor, there was Christina Ricci on the arm of Alexander McQueen, Cate Blanchett looking every inch the tousled sex kitten in Tom Ford’s Yves Saint Laurent, Calvin Klein, Naomi Campbell, Aerin Lauder, Carolyn Murphy, Eve. It was enough to give Amanda Peet, who elaborated on nominee Marc Jacobs’ finer attributes live for the camera, a serious jolt of stage fright.
"Look at this place," she said. "Getting up there makes you feel like someone with Tourette’s in church."
But when David Bowie took to the stage to sing "Rebel Rebel," fashion lovers one and all swooned, an experience with which Bowie himself is familiar.
"I fainted here in 1973," he said. "But I don’t remember it." Bowie wouldn’t be the only one taking home surreal recollections. Backstage, things got a little strange.
A reporter asked J.Lo if she was wearing her fragrance Glow, leaned over to sniff her — and declared she couldn’t smell it. Then a man claiming to be a CAA agent snuck into the press room and offered her a movie on the spot, as her handler whisked her away. And the horrible outfit?